some college work. read it. all.....

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/mar/07/charlie-brooker-50-cent-gaddafi

  This article written by Charlie Brooker, appealed to me on many levels. The way in which he satirises the ‘holier than thou’ attitude of some of artists who returned their payments from the Gaddafi family for performing, is both intelligent and humorous.

   His style of writing, in which he mixes both well-written, clever english with the colloquial terms of modern day speech, makes the article very easy to read. At the same time it allows you to laugh, while also bringing up a few serious side notes. It could easily be perceived as a rant at the bubble that celebrities live in at the same time. Celebrities that knowingly took money from a regime of a corrupt and ruthless man and his family are now seemingly being shamed into giving it back. Of course not everybody is giving it back, and this is one of his main gripes.

   The way in which the description of the rapper 50 Cent is written is obviously tongue-in-cheek. The very idea of Charlie Brooker or anybody who writes for the Guardian having even a passing knowledge of the world of R’n’B would be perceived as a massive clash of cultures; however Brooker has more than a passing knowledge. The general public’s view of the Guardian, its writers and readers is that of a sort of upper-class mentality. The posh, well-read folk are the ones who are deemed to read it. In this regard, Brooker’s use of slang words, curse words, vague threats, and defamation of character is slightly out of character for the newspaper. This is precisely why I enjoyed reading this article so much.

   There is sometimes a perception that newspapers, books or articles that are very ‘wordy’, or propose lofty ideas are the ones that anyone with intelligence should read. This article is an example, for me of how you can focus in on a serious subject matter without it going over people’s heads. Obviously, I’m not saying the tabloids’ coverage of something like an election is what everybody should read in order to get facts, but there are ways of getting information and an opinion out there by means of coercion and charm, rather than bogging readers down with facts. In my opinion, if you read an article and aren’t walking away from it without giving it another thought, he writer hasn’t done their job properly.    

Monday 15th November 2010

Working in retail has to be one of the most annoying, frustrating, and one of the most thankless jobs in the world.

 

An example of a typical exchange between me and customer:
Customer walks into store, looks lost, then decides on an area they are going to browse in and continue as such. After several minutes of browsing in specific area, pick up an item which they appear to be very interested in. They stare at said item for another few seconds, studying everything about it, almost smelling it in order to gain every vantage point of the item, taking every little bit of it in. If the garment they are holding could be melted down and bathed in, then at this very point, given the right set of circumstances, I'm pretty sure the customer would do excactly that. Then, out of the blue, through a little change of expression on the customer's face, I sense a shift in their thought pattern. Their look of inquisition on initial examination of the item appears to have changed to a look of slight puzzlement. This is one of the most subtle changes in expression, but is normally a first step in the journey which will take them from a boring, normal person, into a person who has this wonderful ... umm ... whatever they're buying. This is the tiny, but very significant moment where I hope, no, I know I could make the difference in this person's life today. It is a situation I've been through thousands of times at this stage, so recognising my time to step into the breach is one of the easiest parts. I start to move toward the customer, all the while sizing up the type of person I'm dealing with.
My different selling techniques scrolling through my mind as I continue my aproach, deciding which one is best to use is oft times the trickiest part. Some people can be extra inquisitive at this stage, asking you questions that can be both inconsequential at this stage of the process or are counter-intuitive to your selling technique. "Does this come in a different colour?", "Can you put these in the washing machine?", "Is it really warm in here?", "Do you think the European Union will eventually take over the countries that are in it so that the individual identities of countries like Ireland for example will be gone and we will be living in a dictatorship?"; these are some of the questions which can be asked at this stage. One of the best ways to deter these people from asking more questions is to bombard them with all the information that rushes to the front of your brain about their chosen product, or of similar products. This usually stops them talking long enough for them to decide whether they want to buy from you or not. Of course there is times when you don't need to use any technique because people have already decided they will buy or not before you even speak to them. These people are usually called men.
As I approach the customer, I have a clear picture in my head of what I need to do. This one is going to be an easy sale. They have spent so long looking at this item that there must be genuine and uninterrupted interest in buying. They appear to have just one minor concern about something. Must only be a matter of size; a matter I have a full handle on because I know I have the stock to back up any query they may have. This is my bread and butter. I can have made ten of these sales by the time most people have risen from their beds on a Saturday morning. Backed by my immense product knowledge and a fail-safe selling technique, I square off my shoulders and stick out my chest as I swagger through the shop floor. In some ways, I am like a lion who has a poor defenceless animal trapped in a corner with no way out, and I'm about to move in for the kill. The customer looks up and their eyes do nothing to dispell my analogy. They look at me with wide, innocent eyes, so helpless looking that I almost feel a pang of guilt before I begin to sell to them. I close in on the final 2-3 feet between us and open my mouth to speak to the customer:

Me: "Hi, how are you? Can I help?"

Customer: "No, I'm OK."
Upon this they replace the item they had been looking at, and leave the shop.



Peace out,
Mike

Today; Monday November 8th

Firstly the rain. I get into my car, my sweet new car (01 is practically new right), and have to drive to work. I get in, there's a little drizzle, but nothing serious. Drive to work, nothing to worry about weather-wise on the way. Get to the car park, still nothing really going on. then as soon as I step out of the car, its as if Jesus himself has had a look at me and thought; "You know what this guy needs? A bit less pep in his step. A little bit more misery in his already dreary and lifeless day at work. I'm going to make it piss down on him...but only on his journey from the car to work. I'm a frickin' genius."

This was mildly annoying i must admit.

To distract me from this mild annoyance, and from the thoughts of the day ahead in work, I thought of this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE6PNps5N9I where the unbridled joy of the people in it gave me renewed hope for the better things in life. This too was short-lived as I steped in a deep puddle, that was not only wet, but mucky. To compound this, my trainers are made of mesh and are already about to give way so the complete soakage of my right foot was completed.

The day was to continue in this vain to the point where I just wanted to go home. This was fortunate because it was time to go home. Driving through town on the way home I felt a sense of both relief and eagerness to get the homestead. On the journey however a combination of idiot drivers and, well, idiot drivers brought me right back to my feelings of anger, distress and complete and utter abandonment of hope for life's vigours. Luckily, Mum had made a curry at home for dinner so that was pretty good. felt a lot better after that and my night was quite pleasant. got to see my girlfriend and everything. 

Peace out,
Mike